Wired to Sleep

The Ear/Nose/Throat doctor recommends the Sleep Study, so she can better advise me on treating the alleged snoring (I say alleged, because I've never heard myself snore, but others claim it so), which if it's sleep apnea can lead to dangerous health issues later. The sleep study is covered by insurance, and it's an adventure, you betchya.

I arrive at  Sleep Center (in the brownstone above the ENT office, on the Upper East Side, only a few doors down from my primary physician, my allergist and gastro!) a bit early, so I call Adam and Jen in Baltimore to let them know what I'm up to. Adam tells me to ask for the sleep tape the next morning as a keepsake (youtube?), and  Jen says she has a friend who has done this before, but she won't tell me the result of her friend's experience (probably judicious of her but it does get me a little nervous).

Rachel greets me and takes me upstairs. 

Lovely, personable, splits here week between upstate and NYC, Rachel shows me to a pleasant and well-furnished bedroom (like a decent hotel), walking me through what to expect. We agree on what time to go to sleep (10PM). This matters, since it's when I'll get all hooked up, the cameras and sound go on too, and it'll be more difficult to move around so it's best to just go to bed.

Rachel points out the intercom next to the bed, which I won't need until later, and the camera which won't be on until the study officially begins when I go to sleep. For now, I just have to fill out some forms that give permission to be recorded, releasing my records to whatever doctors I list (I list my primary and allergist, though consider putting my father-in-law who's got a PhD and would be amused to receive such a report — I do have some x-rays of his from years ago for some reason).

So until 10PM, I simply talk on the phone and watch TV, flipping around until I find the French film "The Dreamers." I think it's pretty amusing to watch this the night of a sleep test, so I leave it on. Of course, it's a bit naughty which only gets awkward when 9.45 rolls around and Rachel comes in to start to connect me.

I sit on the edge of the bed as she hooks up various colorful wires with a paste, explaining each one and what it's for.  Each wire also goes into a box which will sit next to me.

• 2 to the calves to sense restless leg syndrome (apparently it does exist)
  
• 1 to the heart for heartbeat
  
• 2 to the side of the eyes to sense when I'm asleep
  
• 1 to the chin to sense the jaw dropping which signals I entered the REM stage
  
• 1 just inside the nose to sense breathing
• 4 to the head for brainwaves
• 2 behind ears, which are goofy and I don't remember what for

As Rachel wires, on the TV behind her I see one of the many sex scenes going on on the movie. I apologize, suggesting she turn it off since it's so awkward. She's sweet about it, and says she didn't even notice, though what was weirder for her was a few weeks ago when a woman slept naked for the sleep study.

In addition to the wires, Rachel shows me several air masks that I might need during the night to see if they help if I stop breathing at all, a sign of sleep apnea. The least intrusive is the nose mask which only covers your nose. There also is one for the mouth and one for both.

Wired and tired, we manoevuer me into bed, she wishes me goodnight and I turn off TV and the lights. I can move about okay but it seems to work best if I sleep on my back or side. I usually sleep on my front so I tell myself I'm on a red eye, which works brilliantly. I am asleep within 20 minutes, though she does wake me up in the middle of the night. 

It's disappointing since it means I stopped breathing and she wants to try the nose mask to see if it helps or not. I grudgingly put it on, she turns on the air and I lay back down as the air pumps in through the mask.  It's not that uncomfortable, though I consider lying about it so I'm not prescribed it later if it works. The good thing is, I'm tired enough to fall back asleep and the next thing I know, Rachel is at my side again, waking me up. It's about 5.30AM.

"You did very well," she tells me, though she's not allowed to elaborate any detail until I get my report in about a week. 

I get changed, pack up. She gives me a tip about getting the paste out of my hair and I set off to the gym to shower. It's 6AM and it's too early to call anyone so I simply walk up the street, happy and wide awake.