I hate trick birthday candles. It's such a mean thing to do, and you worry about looking like a dork attempting to make a run at it, coughing up like you did when you first smoked, running out of air you might need later in the day in a real emergency...
I just typed an elipsis — one of the punctuation elements I hate most. Obviously something is very wrong and I am off kilter if I actually use punctuate I emphatically and publicly hate.
Trick birthday candles are bad.
Please. Don't.
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